"Great Expectations"
by Charles Dickens

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     I took the advice. My sister, Mrs. Joe, throwing the door wide open, and finding an obstruction behind it, immediately divined the cause, and applied Tickler to its further investigation. She concluded by throwing me--I often served as a connubial missile--at Joe, who, glad to get hold of me on any terms, passed me on into the chimney and quietly fenced me up there with his great leg.

     "Where have you been, you young monkey?" said Mrs. Joe, stamping her foot. "Tell me directly what you've been doing to wear me away with fret and fright and worrit, or I'd have you out of that corner if you was fifty Pips, and he was five hundred Gargerys."

 

     "I have only been to the churchyard," said I, from my stool, crying and rubbing myself.

     "Churchyard!" repeated my sister. "If it warn't for me you'd have been to the churchyard long ago, and stayed there. Who brought you up by hand?"

     "You did," said I.

     "And why did I do it, I should like to know?" exclaimed my sister.

     I whimpered, "I don't know."

 
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